Recently I was with my family at a local high school football game. It was homecoming and the usual halftime festivities were going on. As the homecoming court was being introduced, each girl had given a quote to the question, “What advice would you give younger students?” Most of them had to do with something about “be yourself” or “try hard and you’ll succeed.” Typical stuff. But one quote struck me. A young girl’s answer to this question was:
“Never regret anything, because the first time you tried something, you really wanted it.”
My first thought was, okay is that Miss Teen South Carolina? (I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that!) No really, I thought, “What? What is she talking about?” The answer at first was so nonsensical, but then I thought she may be serious. Now, I mean no offense to this young lady, but think about it.
This is part of the problem with our culture. Its all about ME. It has nothing to do with is this right, wrong, good for me or others, but is it something I really want? If so, then I’ll never regret it, even if the consequences are negative.
- “I don’t regret that I got pregnant or got HIV because the first time I did that I really wanted it!”
- “I don’t regret having a drunk driving accident or becoming an alcoholic, because when I took that first drink I really wanted it!”
- “I don’t regret…you fill in the blank“
You get the idea. What a philosophy to live by! Now I know that this is wisdom from a 16 year old, but it is evident of how I think most people in our culture live their lives. Living for the moment, not ever thinking of the long or short term impact in has on our lives or the lives of others…or on our witness as a Christ follower. Is this a philosophy we want to live by or that we want our children to live by?
I can tell you there are a lot of things I did in the moment in my life and have regretted it. Regret is a good thing. Some may call it simply guilt. It helps us see that we don’t want to go there again. I think for a believer, it is prompting from the Holy Spirit: “This is an area you were never intended to go into. This is for your protection. Don’t go there again.”
Most of the things I regret have to do with my mouth. James talks about this in chapter three of his letter in the New Testament. Ever said anything you regret? Would you say you didn’t regret it because at the time you really wanted to say it? Most of us would say, no. Yet we live in and are raising our children in a culture that says, “No regrets! Live for the moment! Whatever you feel like at the time is good! Go for it, you know you really want it!” Kind of sounds like what the serpent said to Eve, doesn’t it?
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Looking at it from a different PERSPECTIVE though, what if she was talking about witnessing to someone? What if she had an experience in witnessing, and like you said on Sunday, got punched in the face for it. Would she regret telling that someone about Jesus even if it got her in a fight? She shouldn’t regret it, because it was what God led her to do. It was what she wanted at the time. Had she known she was going to get punched in the face, she might have thought twice.
This is no offense to you, because I do agree with most of what you are saying. There are a lot of things in my personal life that I regret. And I have learned from those mistakes and used them to help others and keep my life on the path that God has laid out for me.
I just don’t think it is fair to judge that girl under a blanket rule…. because we don’t know all of where she was coming from. I just thought I would add my “perspective” on the subject. 🙂
I couldn’t agree more; What more could I say?
I am in no way judging this girl. I am simply saying that this type of mentality is a reflection of our culture. Just talking the comment at face value. I seriously doubt that she was talking about witnessing to her friends when she made the comment. When we try to rationalize things in our life or say we don’t regret certain decisions, just because it was something we wanted at the time it usually reflects a ME mentality. I see where you are coming from too, though. I would say that there are times that I made a decision that didn’t turn out the best, but I didn’t regret it because it was what I knew God wanted me to do. That perspective is true if we are following God’s purpose and not our own.
JoLynn, I think if the apostle Paul were punched in the face for witnessing he would count it all joy would he not? If to live is Christ and to die is gain then it’s safe to assume that the Christian life is regret free as long as we are honoring the Lord with our actions. Of course, being on this side of heaven means there will be regret and there will be sin. Thank God for His unmerited favor and for loving me first! To never regret anything would mean to never have guilt and never the need to confess, this could be devestating for a believer, Paul calls it “storing up wrath” and presuming on God’s kindness. I call it thin ice. We should celebrate guilt and regret, God’s kind way of leading us to repentance. blessings!
I said all that to point out that her (the original girl’s) comment did not bring honor to being a Christian, if anything it promoted a reckless abandon to life.